Wake Up Call: Redemption's Dawn, My Confession

Dear fellow brothers in Christ,

I've had a wake up call. A hail from on high. A smack on the head with a holy and righteous Mjholnir..(I think thats how u spell it) God spoke to me...again. He has everyday since...i dunno....but I guess I was ignoring it. I mean, he speaks to me through...everything really: books, people, movies, dreams, music...the list goes on. I mean, I guess I believed in him before...maybe not. I wasn't seeking him enough, I suppose. I just ignored him, and got angry at him for all the 'bad' things that happened to me in my life. Half of them weren't even important things either. I was looking for...his .....essence....in other things. To fill the empty space in my heart....I mean.....I went after other things, that were not of God. As switchfoot puts it: "I was trying so hard to fit in....until I found out that I don't belong here!" God was always there though, for me, even when I sinned, even when I got so angry at him...even when I collapsed into fits of uncontrollable tears. I'm still not quite sure how I figured out that he does indeed exist...somewhere in the last three months...he just talked to me....and I knew he was real. This is kinda difficult....telling people you were a sort of a phony...I mean....I wasn't really a phony....maybe I was.....I mean, I really respected you guys for being so devoted to your beliefs, and I really felt....cold....not believing in anything truly solid..i dunno what ithought. But i do know what i think now.....now I BELIEVE!!! "HE IS FAITHFUL!!!" When all seemed down, and nobody seemed to want to talk to me anymore..he was always there....and whenever I picked up the Bible....he spoke to me, everytime.

So....yea...i just wanted to get that sorta confession out there..so u guys kno where I'm coming from. I really want to be a greater and more fruitful tree for God. I have not been doing this, and I would really like to. God is good. :) When I finally opened my heart up again to Jesus, I feel whole again. That empty space has been filled, and I am left with conviction, and I again know my right from my wrong. Thank you all for being patient....and waiting for me to finally wake up....I want to be a true light to the earth for Jesus....a true Phoenix Beacon. See some of you tommorrow at Tribe. I really look forward to praising the lord and learning about him again...It has been too long.

-David (a.k.a.: elscribe, penhaven, Dravin, etc.....)

my email: fian316@yahoo.com